I could feel myself lifting off. Oh, come on, I said aloud. I couldnt believe this was still happening! I headed for the far side of the property I would go around the barn where no one else seemed to be. I was going to take care of business really quickly. I rounded the corner and it happened again. She was standing there, the girl from the store. I was so shocked I actually lost my erection. She was smoking a cigarette and trying to hide from the wedding party. She had changed a little, her. I was going to have to start working out just any day now. Not after bigger muscles—I liked the build I had, shit I got 16” bi-ceps now, but more after strength training. Varsity would be a lot harder than Freshman football. The guys would be way bigger. And the strength training would benefit the boxing as well. Now—I wasn't a bully--I really didn't like hurting other guys, for no reason at least, but fuck it—if your in that ring, they're gonna hurt you, so you might as well hurt them first.. The window above the wall-length book shelf was completely crowded by books. I turned the corner to head back up the next aisle, and just as I did I caught a glimpse of another customer. I hadn't heard anyone else come in. She must have been there before me. I didn't catch her face but I saw her hand linger on the back of a shelf, just as I had, before she turned the corner to go up the aisle next to me, leaving a little perfume in her wake.I ducked a little to see between the tops of the books. Oh my god! Did I just think...! I just looked at my children and thought they had cute butts! I didn’t think I was capable of thinking that about anyone, much less my own children!And yet, after the initial shock passed, I realized that I was only being honest with myself. I was being honest with myself for the first time in my life! Maybe it’s about time for a little honesty in my life.I looked up at the clock on the microwave and noticed that time had somehow slipped away again. I should have.
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